Undertale Oneshots
by kjm126316
Summary: Exactly as the title says. A collection of oneshots and drabbles, some written by me, and a few by my sister. Updates will be every threw days until I run out of pre-written oneshots. Then updates will become irregular. I do not own Undertale. Rated 'T' because I'm paranoid.
1. Of Ice Cream and Murderous Twins

Poke.

"I will smite you."

Poke.

"I will eviscerate you."

Poke.

"I will posses you and kill everyone you love."

… Poke.

"FRISK!"

The fifteen-year old laughed as she watched her adopted twin turn a vibrant shade of red, spluttering with anger.

"Frisk, I swear to Asgore, I will _murder_ you next chance I get." Frisk stuck her tongue out at the demon.

"And where would that leave you?" She asked. "We're tied to the same SOUL. If I go, you go too." Chara huffed.

"Whatever," she said passively, an evil look entering her eye. "If you would give me control on the other hand-"

"In your dreams, Chara." Said 15 year old groaned, running a hand through her auburn hair as she did so.

"I'm boooooored!" She cried. "There's nothing to do- I can't get away with murder like I used to." Frisk rolled her chocolate-brown eyes.

"Why don't you go talk with Flowey?" She suggested. Chara gave her a long-suffering look.

"I _can't,_ Toriel put him on lock-down again." She griped. Frisk hesitated.

"Do you want to go get ice cream?"

The demon stared at her former host with something akin to incredulousness burning in her eyes.

"Ice cream?" She questioned. Frisk smiled slightly.

"Yeah, ice cream. There's a new shop down the road-"

"Frisk I don't want ice cream-"

"-and they do 16 different flavors of chocolate." Chara fell silent, and Frisk smiled triumphantly.

"Fine," Chara grumbled. "But only for the chocolate." Frisk laughed and grabbed her keys, while Chara just stood there fiddling with her heart locket.

"Ok, I've got my keys, let's go," the ambassador of the monsters said. The two girls walked out of the room, only to be intercepted by Toriel.

"Hello Frisk, hello Chara," the goat monster greeted them cheerfully. "Where are you two going?" Chara opened her mouth to reply, but Frisk stomped on her foot.

"We're just going to get ice cream," she said, ignoring Chara, who was cursing at her violently via telepathy.

Ah, the joys of sharing a SOUL.

"Oh, ok," Toriel said, smiling. "Don't stay out too late, and _behave yourself_ Chara." Said demon rolled her bloodred eyes.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." She said flippantly, strolling past Frisk and Toriel and out the door. The former queen of monsters looked at Frisk with something akin to worry in her eyes.

"Are you sure this is-"

"The same Chara you raised?" Frisk finished, a bored look in her eyes. "Yes mom, this is the same Chara." Toriel sighed and walked off to the kitchen, muttering about how different Chara was. Frisk sighed. She _really_ needed to sit down and talk with her- everybody actually- and explain about the resets and such.

But right now she needed to go catch her twin before she murdered someone out of sheer boredom.

"Chara! Chara- put that poor squirrel down right now." The demon huffed, letting go of said furry creature. It quickly scampered away, fear in it's beady black eyes. Chara stood up, brushing herself off and walking towards Frisk, boredom swirling around in her crimson eyes.

"Alright Miss Pacifist, lead the way," she said, a hint of amusement playing on her features. Frisk rolled her eyes and gestured in front of her.

"After you, Miss Genocide." She drawled. Chara stuck her tongue out at her and walked in front of her at a brisk pace. Frisk hurried to catch up.

"So how far away _is_ this bloody ice cream shop?" Chara asked. "My feet hurt." Frisk resisted the temptation to roll her eyes.

"We've been walking for two minutes Chara," she said flatly. "How can your feet hurt already? You walked all over the Underground…" Chara sighed, picking at her locket.

"Yeah, but that was _fun,_ " she said. "There were monsters to kill, kids to terrify, gold to be earned." She sighed contently. "Those were the good days." Frisk sighed and looked up, remembering her own run through the Underground.

"It's hard to believe it's been 6 years, isn't it?" She asked softly. Chara nodded, hints of nostalgia playing in her eyes.

"Yeah," she said, then added: "Do you miss it?"

"The Underground? Dearly." Frisk replied. Chara stuck her hands in her pockets.

"We should go back sometime," she said thoughtfully. "Relish in all the old memories." Frisk gave her a doubtful stare.

"You think Mom would let us do that?" She asked. Chara snorted.

"If she lets the smiley trashbag go back there, why can't we?" She questioned. Frisk shrugged.

"I guess you're right," she said, then sighed. "Sans is in the Underground more than he is here, isn't he?" Chara hummed.

"You ever wonder what he's doing down there?" She asked. Frisk nodded.

"Yeah," she said. "I know he had a lab back in Snodin, so maybe he's doing science?" Chara snorted.

"I still can't believe that lazy bag of bones has seven PHD's." She grumbled. Frisk laughed.

"I'm pretty sure that came as a shock to everyone." She commented, coming to a stop. "And we're here." Chara looked up, noticing the ice cream parlor immediately. She sighed.

"Alright, let's get this over with," she said, pushing the door open. Frisk sighed, and silently prayed that Chara would keep herself in check.

"Hello!" The man behind the counter said cheerfully. Frisk gave him a small smile. "What would you and your friend like?"

"I'll just have a small scoop of vanilla," Frisk said, then looked uncertainly at Chara, who was staring at the variety of chocolate ice cream with a shocked expression. She sighed, turning back to the man.

"This might take a while." She warned. The man laughed.

"Take your time, I have all day," he said earnestly.

15 minutes later, Frisk and Chara left the shop, Frisk eating a small vanilla ice cream, while Chara was supporting a cone with three different types of chocolate ice cream on it. Frisk shook her head.

"You're going to give yourself a migraine trying to eat that," she said. Chara huffed.

"I'm _fine_ Frisk," she ground out. Frisk sighed, looking at the massive ice cream cone.

"Mom is going to _kill you_ if she sees that," she commented. "Think you can eat it all before we get back?" Chara snorted.

"Have you met me?"

 **BAM! Oneshot done!**

 **...**

 **Um, I can't really think of anything else to write. Hmm. This is a new experience for me.**

 **...**

 **Eh...**

 **Au revoir, little biscuits!**


	2. The Other Genocide Route

"You've never seen your brother driven by a bloodlust, have you?"

Sans sighed and kneaded his forehead, turning around and looking at the fifteen-year old demon. Cruel amusement sparked in their bloodred eyes.

"No, I have not." Sans said stiffly. Chara sighed and leaned back in their chair.

"Well, it's quite frightening," they said, then grinned evilly. "In more than one way." Sans cocked an imaginary eyebrow, interest peaked.

"Oh?" He questioned. "How so?" The demon fiddled with their necklace.

"It was like he was dead inside." They said. "He just didn't care." Sans narrowed his 'eyes'.

"And you know this because?" He asked, unsure if he wanted to know the answer. Chara giggled and rolled over so they were looking at him upside-down.

"The one time your brother was driven by a bloodlust was in the timeline where _you_ died first." They said, a twisted smiled on their features. "I had to kill him, naturally." Sans felt like he was going to vomit.

"You put Papyrus through that?" He asked unsteadily. " _Why?_ " The demon shrugged.

"I got bored," they said flippantly. "I'd gotten you to break numerous times before, and i wanted to see what would happen if Papyrus was in your place." Sans kneaded his temples, starting to wish he'd never spoken to Chara in the first place.

"He wasn't affected by it, of course," they said. "He doesn't remember the resets." They gave him a creepy grin and Sans repressed a shudder.

"The spaghetti-loving fool eventually figured out about the resets while fighting me," they said, a bit of awe shining in their eyes. "And, even more, he _changed_ his attacks each load." They shook their head. "Damn Sans, I sometimes think your brother is more powerful you." Sans clenched his fists.

"If Frisk didn't think that you could still be saved, you'd be a spot of grease right now," he said, utterly repulsed. The demon pouted.

"Aww, that's not a nice thing to say Sansy," they said, an evil look entering their eye. Sans knew what that look meant- they were going to torment him with awful memories of past timelines.

"Did I mention how it was like he was dead?" Chara asked, cruel amusement playing in their eyes. "He was like a shadow of his former self- a ghost if you will." They fiddled with their necklace.

"He was also wearing your hoodie; the one you're wearing now," they said, motioning to said article of clothing. "He was also cracking puns here and there- it was quite a pitiful sight." Sans screwed his eyes shut; he could feel his left eye heating up. He heard Chara laugh.

"It took me forever to kill him," they said, irritation clear in their voice. "Mostly because of how he kept changing his attacks. So annoying." Sans opened his eyes, both completely devoid of light. Chara smirked at the sight.

"He can't do that though," they said, rendering to Sans' blank eye sockets. "I was a little dissapoi-HEY!"

The room was bathed in an eery aquaish-yellowish light as Chara was thrown up into the air via blue magic.

"Shut up," Sans growled. "Shut up right now." Chara smiled innocently.

"Aww, is little Sansy Pansy upset?" They mocked, yelping when Sans threw them into the wall. They _tsked_.

"Silly Sans, Frisk and Toriel will have your head for that," they said.

"I don't care," Sans growled. "Talk crap about my brother again and I will fricking _end you._ " Chara giggled.

"Alright, calm down Mr. Smiley Skeleton." They said. Sans scowled and abruptly released his hold on their SOUL; as a result they fell down on the couch.

The comedic skeleton turned around and walked off, not wanting to be near the infuriating child any longer.

"Hey Sansy, one more thing!" Chara called to him. Against his better judgment, the skeleton stilled.

"What?" He snapped. Chara giggled.

"I just wanted to let you know that Papyrus sometimes has flashbacks of that timeline," they said. "Night terrors, sudden memories, all that jazz. He doesn't know what is means though, and he's much better at hiding it then you are." Sans took a shaky breath, and kept walking, ignoring the laughing demon behind him.

 **Well… that got dark…**

 **Heheh…**


	3. Their Least Favourite Holiday

Toriel looked up as the two skeleton brothers and Frisk entered the house. She smiled.

"Hello!" She greeted them. "Did you have a pleasant day out?" Sans and Papyrus ignored her, and simply made their way into the living room, Papyrus flopping headfirst into the couch, Sans falling down on his favourite chair. Both skeletons had vaguely horrified looks on their faces. Toriel frowned.

"Boys?" She called to them. No reply. She turned to Frisk.

"Frisk, my child, have you any idea what's gotten into them?" She asked. Frisk smiled sheepishly.

 _We passed a Halloween store,_ they said. _They, uh, didn't take too well to some of the decorations._ Toriel frowned. Frisk patiently waited for their adopted mother to get the hint.

3, 2, 1-

"Oh! They saw the plastic skeletons?"

 **Hehe. I can totally imagine this happening. Poor skelebros, lol.**


	4. Why Flowey Can't Go To School Anymore

Ok class, settle down, it's time for show and tell! Frisk, you're up!" Frisk walked to the front of the class, with them, a very unhappy golden buttercup.

"What did you bring for show and tell Frisk?" The teacher asked. Frisk presented Flowey to the class. Flowey didn't say anything.

Frisk nudged the irritated golden flower, mouthing: _that's your cue._ Flowey sighed. Sweet mercy, what did he do to deserve this?

"Howdy, I'm Flowey, Flowey the flower." Flowey said in a monotone. There were some 'oohs', and 'awws', and even one: 'Holy crap, a talking flower? Where can I get one?'

"Why don't you tell us a little about yourself, Flowey?" The teacher suggested. Flowey shot her a dark look and made a mental note to give the woman a slow, painful death sometime in the near future.

"There isn't anything to tell," Flowey replied crossly. "Unless Frisk wants to give an account of how many times I've tried to kill them… no?" The class seemed a little taken aback by his answer.

"What's your favourite food, Mr Flowey?" One of the kids asked. Flowey grinned, revealing his small yet very sharp fangs.

"thE soUls of InNOcENTs." Flowey said in a demonic voice. Frisk flicked the flower in the face. The golden buttercup recoiled, looking murderous.

Then, another kid asked another question.

Flowey slowly turned towards them, ready to rip their head off their shoulders.

"What?" He snapped. The kid recoiled, but persisted.

"What do you like to do for fun?" One of them asked. Flowey smiled.

"Murder everyone as _slowly_ as possible." He chirped.

The reaction was instantaneous.

The kids, already on edge, quickly turned into a screaming, crying, terrified mess.

Flowey beamed.

Needless to say, Flowey was not allowed back at school after that.

 ***Insert amazing and thoughtful authors note here.***


	5. Their Least Favourite Holiday pt 2

Sans took a deep breath, looking at the doors with foreboding. Ever since the event a week ago, he'd been dreading this day.

The day of the Halloween Dance.

See, at the start of October, Sans and Papyrus had _volunteered_ to be chaperones for Frisk's school's dance, not really knowing what Halloween was.

Then, a week before, the skelebros were unfortunate enough to walk by a Halloween store and see plastic skeletons.

Needless to say, both skelebros were probably scarred for life.

Sans cast a nervous glance upwards towards Papyrus, who seemed about as thrilled as Sans.

"Ready?" The shorter of the two asked. Papyrus tugged on his scarf.

"Yes." He said in a small voice, then pushed open the doors.

Sans quickly cast a glance around, noting the absence of any plastic skeletons.

Good, good.

A sudden rattling sound caught his attention, and he looked up to see Papyrus shaking. Concern washed over his SOUL.

"Papyrus?" He asked. "You ok?" Said skeleton nervously shook his head, looking a little green.

"I'm… just gonna step outside for a moment…" Papyrus said in a voice barely above a whisper, before turning around and walking out if the gymnasium. Sans shook his head, and turned around, silently wondering what had caused his bro to freak out like that.

Stuffing his hands inside his pockets, he started to make his way into the gym, stopping dead after a mere three steps.

The twin pinpricks of light vanished from within his eye socket, leaving two gaping voids in their wake. Sans shivered. What he had just seen was… not right. He could now understand why Papyrus had left.

A sudden tugging on his jacket caught his attention, and he turned around to see Frisk, concern shining in their warm brown eyes.

 _Sans?_ They asked. _Are you ok?_ Sans cast a glance back at what had caused his distress, eye sockets still empty.

"I'm… fine…" he mumbled, a nauseous feeling starting to grow in the pit if his non-existent stomach. He wasn't sure if skeletons could be sick, but he really didn't want to find out.

"I'll be right back," Sans said weakly, legs turning to jelly. "I just gotta go find Papyrus." On that note he left.

Frisk knit their eyebrows. They'd known that Sans and Papyrus had been… less enthused about chaperoning the school dance since they'd seen the plastic skeletons in the store a few weeks ago, but they weren't sure what would cause their adoptive brothers to freak out like that.

Frisk shook their head, absentmindedly reaching for the snack table and grabbing a candy skeleton. They popped it in their mouth, then stopped suddenly, mid-chew.

Candy skeletons.

That you _eat._

… oops.

 **Hehe, this whole 'Sans and Papyrus deal with the trails of Halloween' is actually pretty fun to write. I've actually gotten another idea for it as I'm writing this...**


	6. Just A Dream

Sans sighed, rolling over and blearily opening his eye sockets. He frowned- as much as he could with a perpetual grin.

Something wasn't right.

Uneasiness now creeping into his SOUL, he stood up, wobbling around before falling backwards back onto his head.

Oops. Stood up to fast I guess.

The pun loving skeleton made an attempt to stand up again, holding his arms out to keep his balance.

Success!

Sighing, Sans quickly noted that he'd slept in his clothes, something he used to do a lot when the resets started.

Filing the information away to the back of his head, the skeleton pulled on his slippers and made his way out of his room, only to have a heart attack at what he saw.

His old house.

In Snodin.

Sans tried to calm himself down, but it wasn't working. He was slowly starting to hyperventilate.

He sank down onto the floor, breathing erratic. No- this couldn't be happening. The kid _promised_ they wouldn't reset! This couldn't be a reset! It couldn't!

Yet everything else contradicted that.

Sans stopped dead suddenly, fear flooding him.

He didn't know what route the kid was gonna take- Pacifist, or Genocide.

Renewed energy now coursing through his bones, the normally lazy skeleton jumped up and _raced_ down the stairs, shouting his lungs out, screaming at Papyrus to come out, that _this wasn't funny._

But nobody came.

Breathing now borderline erratic, Sans whipped towards the door, freezing when he saw the note attached to it.

Dread flooded him. This could not be good.

Sans teleported over to the note, magic crackling and fizzling in the air. He tore the piece of paper off the door, heart sinking when he saw the papyrus font.

HELLO SANS! it read.

I HAVE GONE OFF TO CAPTURE THE HUMAN, SO DO NOT WORRY IF I AM NOT THERE WHEN YOU WAKE UP! (I LET YOU SLEEP IN; YOU DIDN'T SLEEP VERY WELL LAST NIGHT.)

THERE IS SPAGHETTI IN THE FRIDGE.

-THE GREAT PAPYRUS

Sans felt his breathing pick up, too absorbed in his feelings of panic to register that this timeline was different.

He didn't think he'd care either way.

Panic escalating by the second, the skeleton threw open the door, recoiling at the harsh wind. He fought on, nevertheless, making his way through the storm, risking a few teleports here and there. (It was risky to teleport when one's magic was unstable, you could end up anywhere.)

"PAPYRUS!" Sans screamed. "PAPYRUS! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

The short skelly was growing hysterical now, panic slowly but surely consuming him.

Then, he saw it.

A lone red scarf, fluttering in the wind.

Sans's breath hitched, and he teleported over, picking up the crimson object with shaking hands. Tears started pricking his eye sockets when some silvery dust slid off the scarf- all that remains of his brother.

"No…" Sans mumbled, blue tears falling into the scarf. "NO!"

In a flash Sans was on his feet, tears free-falling eye sockets.

"WHY?" He screamed, bones and Gaster Blasters forming around him due to his emotionally distraught state. "WHY? WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO YOU? THIS ISN'T _FAIR!_ " Sans didn't care that the landscape around his was being shredded to bits because of his unstable magic.

He just didn't care.

Sans dropped to his knees, sobs racking his body frame. This _wasn't fair._ The kid _promised_ they wouldn't forget. They _promised._

Sans started laughing quietly, a broken, hollow laugh.

"You think this is funny, don't you?" He asked, either unaware or uncaring g he was talking to empty air. "To just rip out the world from someone's feet? Erase everything they've ever known and loved and replaced it with _this hell?_ "

"But it's ok, isn't it?" He wheezed. "Cause no one's gonna remember this, are they? WELL GUESS WHAT? _I REMEMBER!_ " Sans' giggling escalated into full-blown laughter, broken and hysterical. "BECAUSE WHAT'S MORE FUN THAN TORMENTING A _BROKEN SKELETON?"_

"I dunno," someone said, a malicious edge to their voice. "I could be the one to break you."

Dead. Silence.

Sans slowly turned around, eye sockets blank. The child smirked, twirling a knife in their hands.

"This is usually the part where you'd go on about how it's a beautiful day out and how I should be burning in hell." Chara said, a cruel glint in their eyes. Sans wrapped Papyrus's scarf around his neck.

"...let's just get to the point."

The child nobly jumped out of the way as a Gaster Blaster fired at them, moving in a jagged zig-zag pattern to avoid the bone maze they somehow found themselves in.

"I'd usually do my whole spiel now, but you've heard it before already" Sans said, teleporting to the side when the kid swung at him. He grabbed ahold of the kids SOUL and swung them around the clearing, knocking off a good chunk of their HP. Chara chuckled.

"So what'll you do now?" They asked. "Stand down and let me kill you?" Sans shrugged, a dead look in his eye.

"Part of me is tempted to do that, while the other _really_ wants to beat the crap outta you," he said, summoning several Gaster Blasters. "I'm much more inclined to go with the second option." Chara chuckled, ducking under a blast, then stabbing at him with their knife.

"I'd love to see you try," they said, shivering slightly when Sans turned their SOUL blue again and tossed them around the clearing. They stood up, brushing some dust off their clothes before slashing at him again,multiple times in rapid succession.

Sans sighed, looking at them with a depressed look in his eyes.

" _Why_ kid?" He asked, a somewhat desperate note in his voice. " _Why_ do you keep doing this? What do you gain by killing us over and over?" Chara giggled.

"Every time Frisk resets, I gain more and more control over their body," they said, dodging a bone. "With every monster I kill, I gain more and more of their SOUL," they gave Sans a twisted smile. "Put two and two together, bonehead." Sans regarded them with tired eyes, flickers of realization playing in them.

"You'll eventually gain complete and total control over the timeline," he realized. "With a SOUL of your own…" Chara giggled.

"It's a wonderful plan isn't it?" They asked, a manic glint in their eye. "But there's one flaw in it… you." They nodded at him.

"Yes Sans, you," they said, an infuriated look growing in their bloodred eyes. "You are _always_ in the way. It's _so_ annoying," a psychotic grin broke out on their face. "Which is why you have to go. Say goodbye, Sansy."

They lunged forward, slashing through Sans's ribcage. The skeleton gasped, falling to his knees. Chara flicked some bone marrow off of their knife. They smirked at him.

"Seeya Sansy Pansy," they said, walking off.

Meanwhile, Sans collapsed, his shaking legs unable to support his form anymore. His eyes drifted closed when-

"SANS! SANS WAKE UP!"

Huh?

"BROTHER, PLEASE WAKE UP, YOU'RE DREAMING! SANS!"

The comedic skeleton jackknifed into a sitting position, one hand over his chest where the cut would be. He was immediately enveloped by a hug from Papyrus.

"SANS! YOU'RE AWAKE, OH THANK GOODNESS, YOU WERE HAVING A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE! YOU WERE THRASHING AROUND AND-" Papyrus's rant was cut off by his older brother, who had dissolved into tears.

"I-IT'S OK NOW SANS," Papyrus soothed his older brother, somewhat unsure of how to go about this situation. Sans never really cried, he was more of a 'stare off into space and start shaking' kind of guy.

"P-paps?" Sans hiccuped, wiping some years away with the heel of his hand.

"YES?"

"... Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"OF COURSE BROTHER."

 **OK, OK, INTERACTIONS BETWEEN THE BROS ARE PURELY PLATONIC. (Yeesh this fandom can scare me.)**

 **Yea, I know, the ending is kinda crap, but at the moment I'm writing this, it's 12:21 a.m, and I'm kinda tired. I'll go back and edit it now, brb.**

 **Ok, I'm back now it's 12:22 and I just reread it it's actually not that bad. XD. I'll just go upload it now.**

 **P.S- how'd I do on the right scene? I don't usually write fight scenes, sorry if it's crap.**


	7. Flowey Got Runover By a Lawnmower

**Psst, hey! It's me! (It's so weird to write an author's note at the beginnng of a story...) This chapter was written by my lil' sis, so I will not tolerate ANY hate. Be nice, she's still learning how to write. (Took me forever to convince her to write this...)**

"FLOWEY RUN!" Frisk shrieked.

"AHHHH GOD!" Flowey screamed. There was a running lawn mower behind him.

"OH NO!" Chara screamed literally almost pulling her hair out. She had left the lawn mower unattended. So here we are.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" Flowey screamed. Then it went black.

"Wow." Chara said. Flowey, now only having the structure/stem/veins of his leafs and no petals was just run over by a lawnmower.

"You ok buddy?" Frisk asked.

"No." Flowey said shaking. "Would you be ok if you where just run over by a lawnmower?"

"Its- " Frisk was cut off by Toriel who held a butterscotch cinnamon pie.

"Later Flowey." Frisk said.

"Later." Chara said.

"B-b-b-but what about me?" Flowey said.

"Flowey can't you see butterscotch cinnamon pie needs to be eaten?" Chara said.

"I hate you." Flowey said in a monotone.

 **WAM!**

 **Hi! I'm Kjm's sister Tignarita! :D You can also call me Tig. I'm the one who wrote this drabble.**

 **Kjm: *sighs*** **Yes, my little sister wrote this, which means I will take** ** _no hate_** **from anyone in the comments.**

 **Tig: If thou giveth a hate comment we shall smite thee with our MAGIC POWERS. '3'**

 **Kjm: *sighs yet again* thou does not hath to worry about being smited. Thou is safe. I will make sure mine sister does not smite thou.**

 **Kjm: Moving on, I don't really know** ** _when_** **the next update will be. As you all** ** _hopefully_** **know, the updates to this 'story' are completely random.**

 **Kjm: … um, that's it.**

 **Kjm & Tig: Au revoir, little biscuits!**


	8. Snowskeletons

**Sans is 16, Papyrus is 9**

"Come on Sans!" Papyrus called to his older brother. "I wanna go make snowmen!" Behind him, Sans chuckled, brushing some snow off his jacket.

"Doncha mean snowskeletons bro?" He asked, chuckling when Papyrus huffed.

"Saaaaans no puns!" He pleaded. Said skeleton shoved his hands in his pockets.

"That wasn't a pun bro," he corrected his little brother. "That was just me being witty." Ahead of him, Papyrus groaned and rolled his eyes.

"They both have the same effect though," the smaller skeleton said. "They both make me want to rip out my own hair," he paused. "And I don't even have any hair!" Sans chuckled, coming to a stop a little ways into Snodin forest. He turned to his brother.

"This look like a good spot bro?" He asked. Papyrus frowned, a calculating look in his eye sockets.

"Yes, this will do," he said, deeming that the place had passed inspection. He shot his older brother a wide grin. "Now let's make snowmen! Nyeh heh heh!" Sans rolled his eyes, smiling while he watched Papyrus running around, building a snowman which actually resembled him quite a bit.

His brother was so cool.

Papyrus turned towards him, having just finished his snowman.

"Sans! Have you finished your- woah! That's really cool!" Sans glanced back at his snowman. He hadn't modeled it after himself (that would take waaaaay too much work) instead he'd decided to make a 'traditional' snowman, like the ones he'd seen in the human books that occasionally fell into the underground.

"Thanks Papyrus," he said, gazing at his bro's snowman. "Yours is pretty cool to." Papyrus puffed out his chest, just as a gust of wind came along and blew his scarf out behind him heroically.

"Of course it is!" He boasted. "It's a great likeness of a great skeleton! Nyeh heh heh!" Sans chuckled, shivering slightly when the wind picked up. He looked at the sky and noticed some storm clouds rolling in.

"Alright bro, time to head home," he decided. "Don't wanna be a couple of _boneheads_ and get caught in the storm." Papyrus frowned.

"Saaaaans! Enough with the puns!" He chided his older brother, before turning around and walking off to their house, Sans following him.

 **Sans is 28, Papyrus is 21 (It's also the time Frisk started screwing around with the timelines)**

"Papyrus- why are we doin' this again?" Sans asked as he trudged after his younger brother. Said younger brother turned around and shot him a look full of irritation.

"Because it's tradition, Sans!" He explained, albeit a little impatiently. "Every year we come out here and make snowmen- we've been doing it since I was 9!" Sans sighed and picked up his pace a little, grin falling when his brother turned around.

 _How many times have I done this?_ He silently asked himself. _45? 55? Eh, whatever. It doesn't matter. It'll all reset eventually._

The thought if a reset put a bitter taste in his mouth.

He'd lost track of how many times the world has been wiped away, and set back to the beginning. He's lost track of how many times Undyne threw the underground into a military-based operation. He's lost track of how many times his brother has been king.

He's lost track of how many times he's found a bright red scarf fluttering in the wind, buried amongst a pile of silverish dust.

He sighed, plopping down on the ground whilst his brother went about his routine of making a Snow-Papyrus, debating on whether or not he'd bother with actually trying to make a snowman this time.

He found he couldn't bring himself to care either way.

"Sans! Have you finished your- Sans! You didn't even try…" Papyrus motioned to the pile of snow, the word 'Sans' written on it in ketchup. Sans shrugged, ethanal grin growing a bit.

"Hehe, sorry Paps," he said. "I'm just _bone tired._ " That wasn't a lie. He hasn't had a full night of sleep in three weeks.

Papyrus didn't need to know that though.

Said skelly rolled his eyes (how does that work for skeletons?) staring at the lump of snow sadly.

"Ok Sans, I understand," he said, evidently trying and failing to cover up the growing sadness within his SOUL. "There's always next year, nyeh…"

Once upon a time, the sound of that pitiful little laugh would've broken Sans's SOUL in two.

But he doesn't care anymore.

Sighing, he stood up, cracking his cervical vertebrae as he did so. He looked up, noticing the incoming storm immediately.

How could he not, when he's done this over 50 times?

"C'mon bro, we gotta get home," he said, already walking back to the house. "Storms rollin' in." Sans started as a snowflake landed in his eye socket. He looked up and the pinpricks of light vanished from his sockets, leaving two empty voids in their wake.

"... Actually, scratch that. Storms already here."

 **Sans is 28, Papyrus is 21 (They're all on the surface now)**

"Paps? Where are we going?" Sans asked his younger brother. Papyrus turned around and started walking backwards, a smile stretching across his face.

"We're going to make snowmen, brother!" He said, then turned around and started walking forwards again.

Sans stopped short for a second, shock written all over his face. Snowmen? They still did that? Hadn't he stopped bothering to even go outside at all 10 resets ago?

 _Oh yeah, Paps is under the impression that you still do snowmen, 'cause you made one back in Snodin_ , he thought to himself, silently thanking his lucky stars that he'd decided to do one last snowman last time, just for the heck of it.

He was glad that he did.

"Sans! Come on, lazybones!" Papyrus chided his older brother, shaking Sans out of his stupor. He shook his head before catching up with his brother, actually trying to keep pace with him for once.

"This look like a good spot Paps?" Sans asked once they reached the park, unaware that he was repeating the same words he said 12 years ago, back when they'd first started the 'snowskeleton' tradition.

Some things never change.

"Yes brother! This is a perfect spot!" Papyrus claimed, before setting to work and building his snowman. Sans smiled slightly, before starting to build his own. (He decided that he'd actually try this time- why, he wasn't so sure.)

"Sans! That is an amazing snowman!" Papyrus said once they'd finished, looking at his brothers complete snowman. Sans grinned.

"Doncha mean _snowskeleton?_ " The shorter of the two asked, eliciting a groan and a: "Sans! Stop with your puns!" from his younger brother. It had become sort of an inside joke between them now.

Out of habit, Sans looked up, surprised to see that there wasn't a storm brewing. He'd grown so used to a snowstorm coming whenever his brother and him made snowmen that he was slightly shocked there wasn't one now.

Sans smiled, pulling out his phone and tapping the camera icon.

"Hey Paps!" He called to his younger brother. "Wanna take a picture to commemorate our first snowmen-building-day-thing on the surface?" Papyrus nodded, excitement growing in his eye sockets.

"What a wonderful idea, Sans!" He said, standing next to his snowman while Sans used his magic to levitate his phone up into the air to take a picture whilst standing next to his brother.

"Say cheese!" He instructed.

"Cheese!"

Sans smiled, bringing his phone over to him and examining the shot.

"Nice picture," Papyrus commented, checking his watch. "We ought to head back now Sans, our friends are waiting for us." The comedic skeleton nodded, stowing his phone away in his pocket before walking home with his brother.

 **BAM! ONESHOT DONE, YEAAAAAAAH!**

… **eh, might've been a bit to enthusiastic, but who cares?**

 **I'll admit, I wasn't that happy with the ending, I just couldn't get it right. 'm sorry.**


	9. Truths and Lies

Sans never used to lie very much.

He actually used to be the more truthful of the two skeleton brothers, partly because he never felt the need to lie about anything, but mostly because he never saw the point in lying. I mean, unless you thought it through, it would surely escalate into something much bigger, right?

Sans can still remember the first lie he told with startling clarity.

He was around 19, and rather then doing the sentry work he was supposed to do, he spent the entire day at Grillby's, just catching up with old friends.

When Papyrus (who was 18 at the time) asked him where he'd been the entire time, he'd lied and said he was patrolling the forest for humans.

As time went on, the times he told lies grew more and more. Nothing astronomical, mind you, just the occasional white lie told to spare someone's feelings.

It was only when Frisk started screwing around with the timelines that he started telling the big lies.

"SANS! YOU'RE FALLING ASLEEP AT THE TABLE, ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE SLEEPING ALRIGHT?"

"yeah paps, i'm fine. i'm so good at sleeping i can do it with my eyes closed." _no, i didn't sleep at all last night, i was kept awake by nightmares of the genocide route._

"SANS, YOU APPEAR TO BE OUT OF BREATH AND ARE VERY SHAKY. ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

"heh, 'm fine papyrus. don't worry about me." _no, i'm not fine, i just had another panic attack 'cause i saw frisk holding a butter knife._

"SANS, YOU'VE REMAINED SHUT UP IN YOUR ROOM FOR ALMOST THREE DAYS. I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU. ARE YOU OK?"

"heh, i-i'm fine papyrus. r-right as r-r-rain…" _no, i'm not ok, i'm still trying to forget the time we spent on the surface._

Sans lies a lot more then he used to now.

 **Hmm… so that was my attempt at writing angst. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it'b, heh.**


	10. Pink Shorts

"Are you kidding me?" Sans grumbled, staring at his now pink shorts.

Said skeleton was currently decked out in nothing but his hoodie and boxers, standing on his bed, and holding his bright shorts out in front of him.

It was quite a comical sight actually.

Sans breathed in deeply, struggling to reign in his usually docile temper. While on the surface this didn't look like much of a problem, this was a total nightmare in reality.

And he knew exactly who had caused it.

"Chara…" Sans growled, walking off his bed and towards the door, pausing midway.

Cue the outfit check.

"I swear to god when I get my hands on that demon, they're gonna have a bad time…" the skeleton muttered darkly to himself as he tied his bedsheet around his waist… err,thoracic vertebrae.

Yes, Sans only had one pair of shorts.

Yes, he wore them on a day-to-day basis.

So what? He was a skeleton. Skeletons don't attract as much grime as fleshy monsters.

"CHARA YOU'RE DEAD!" Sans screamed as he ran out of his room and into the hall, hearing the demon cackling up ahead.

They were definitely guilty.

Sans chased the demon through the halls, anger growing with every step. Dammit, if they would just stay still he could just teleport and grab them that way, but noooooooo they had to run away.

"GOTCHA BITCH!" Sans cried as he made a grab for them; big mistake.

The last thing Sans saw before he tumbled down the stairs was Chara's cheeky grin as they teleported to his left.

"*Bash* CHARA YOU FUC- *crash* OW!- *moar hurt* MOTHER FUC- *smash* FUCK I THINK I CHIPPED MY SKULL-!"

By the time Sans reached the bottom of the stairs, he was sure death was coming for him.

"Sans…?" The skeleton dramatically threw an arm over his eye(sockets).

"Is this death?"

"Uh, no, it's Frisk."

"Oh. Hullo Frisk. Did I wake you up?"

"No, I was already awake."

"Oh."

"Um, Sans?"

"Yes?"

"What are you doing on the floor? And also your boxers are slipping." Sans eyes shot open and he leaped into a sitting position, pulling his blanket into his lap. Frisk chuckled at his bright blue face, when Chara floated down the stairs, and burst out laughing when they saw Sans.

"Pffft- Oh my God you look freaking ridiculous!" they wheezed. Sans debated for a moment on whether or not he wanted to give Chara the finger, or hide in his hoodie, then decided on the latter, and pulled his hood up and pulled the drawstrings tight. Frisk rolled their eyes.

"Ok, seriously though, what's going on?" Sans poked out of his hidey-hole momentarily to give Chara the stink-eye.

"They died my shorts bright pink." Frisk's eyebrows shot up in surprise, before their eyes narrowed in something akin to incredulousness.

"Seriously?" They asked. "You chased Chara around the house simply because they died a pair of your shorts pink? You could've just put on another pair." Sans found himself retreating back into his hood.

"They're my only pair." Frisk paused.

"Wh-wha- h-h-" they struggled for words. "Since when do you have only one pair of shorts?" Sans was pretty sure his face resembled a blueberry.

"Since forever," he said. "Monsters are cleaner than humans, kid, skeletons even more so. It's only natural we'd need less clothes." Frisk looked like they were struggling for words again, while Chara laughed their ass off.

"Ok. Ok," they muttered. "We'll just run to the store and buy you another pair of shorts-"

"That won't work." Frisk looked like they were fighting hard to keep their pacifistic beliefs up.

"And may I ask why?" Sans resisted the urge to cower. Frisk was a lot like Toriel when they were mad; terrifying in that motherly way that only mothers can pull off.

"They won't fit," the skeleton explained. "My shorts are specially designed to fit over my hip bones, since I technically don't have a waist." It felt kinda weird to talk about his anatomy like this, Sans reflected. It was making him feel a little self-conscious, to be completely honest.

Plus Frisk's stare was kinda freakin' him out a little.

"... Would you believe me if I told you I sometimes forgot you were a skeleton?" Sans snorted.

"Jeez kid, sure ya didn't hit your head somewhere along the line?" He asked good-naturedly. Frisk rolled their eyes, though a hint of a smile remained on their face.

"Ok, but seriously, dafuq am I supposed to do?" Sans asked, completely serious now. Frisk frowned.

"We throw your shorts in the wash and wait for them to finish, obviously," they said matter-of-factly. Sans struggled to tone down his rising blush.

"Well- yes, obviously, but, um, what am I supposed to wear until then? Nothing else really fits me." Frisk thought for a moment.

"I dunno," they said eventually. "I guess you can just stay in your boxers until then." Sans flushed a bright cyan.

"Have we no other options?" Sans really didn't want to stay in his boxers till his shorts were done with the wash. Frisk thought for a moment.

"Normally I'd suggest that you borrow something of Papyrus', but you and him aren't exactly the same size." Sans rolled his eyes.

"No shit Sherlock." He muttered under his breath. "Can one of you two go get my shorts from my room- actually wait, that a terrible idea, both of you stay here, I'll go get my shorts." The twins rolled their eyes as Sans and the blanket vanished in a flash of blue. The skeleton was so picky about who went in his room.

"Alright, I'm back," both teenagers shrieked and spun around, coming face-to-face with Sans' shit-eating grin.

"Don't do that!" Frisk wheezed. Sans' grin only grew, if at all possible.

"Sorry Frisk. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't the reaction I'd been hoping for though, tibia honest." Frisk chuckled softly at the overused pun, whirl Chara simply regarded Sans with a cold glare.

"You're blanket is slipping," they said simply. "I can see part of your pelvis." Sans yelped and hoisted his blanket further up, face a brilliant shade of cyan. Frisk sighed, taking pity on the poor skeleton.

"Your shorts?" They asked. Sans tossed them to the child. Frisk caught them with ease, staring at the bright pink fabric. They turned to Chara.

"You really did a number on these." The demon shrugged.

"Go big or go home, eh?" Frisk shook their head as they walked down to the laundry room, telling the two on the stairs that they'd be back soon.

Sans shrunk in on himself when he saw an evil grin spread across their face.

He had the feeling he'd be in for a lot of teasing.

Damn it's been forever since I've updated this thing, but I am still alive!

Also there probably won't be another update for another 6 months.

Oops


	11. I've Lost Control Of My Life

**2:24 a.m.**

Sans jolted awake, eye (sockets) wide and blazing aqua. He knit his non-existent eyebrows upon realizing he had no idea what the fuck had woken him up.

Nightmares? No, the house was still standing and Papyrus hadn't had to call the cops.

Frisk fucking around with the timeline? No, no, he didn't feel like he'd chugged 20 bottles of vodka in one sitting then tried to attempt ballroom dancing only to fall down the stairs 2 seconds later and wake up 100,000 years later in the middle of the apocalypse with a plank of wood lodged in his eye socket.

So what was it then?

The short skeleton thought about it for a moment, then his eyes widened when he realized what it was.

His 'something isn't right' radar was fucking blaring, which was never a good sign, whether it be because Chara had wreaked mass genocide again, or because Undyne had broken into Flowey's secret stash of gummy bears again. (He shuddered at the memories that rushed through his head at the thought. That had been… an experience and a half, to be put mildly.)

Sighing softly (because the comedian wasn't 100% sure he wanted to investigate whatever the fuck was going on) Sans semi-reluctantly pulled himself out of the comfort of his bed and shuffled across the floor, out the door, down the hallway, and down the stairs just in time to have a glob of what smelled like marinara sauce and felt like straight up acid hit him in the left eye socket.

Sans of course immediately screamed in pain and flailed around, seeming to forget he was on the edge of a staircase. This of course resulted in him falling down the stairs head first, nearly breaking several bones along the way.

The skeleton groaned from where he lay at the bottom of the staircase. Christ, Chara better have fucking murdered someone real fucking important for this shit.

"SANS? SANS, OH MY GOD. ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

Sans looked up blearily, somehow not surprised to see Papyrus standing over him with a worried expression. Clutching his head in a vice-like grip, he sat up and looked around, only then realizing the state of his house.

"Paps, what…" his voice trailed off as he took in the tomato stains on the ceiling, spaghetti hanging from the fucking chandelier, and of course, the pot of water that was currently overflowing on the stove.

Papyrus sighed and looked around, weariness radiating from his form.

"I'VE LOST CONTROL OF MY LIFE, SANS," he said in a monotone. "GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP."

 **Dude, I don't even know what the fuck this even is. I had such high hopes for it too at the beginning...**


End file.
